what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
