Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
