Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
More tranny stories later!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
