You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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