I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
