The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
