I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
