some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
