i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I checked into jail on foursquare
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
