I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
