My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Randomize
