Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
