i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
