Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
