did you get engaged???
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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