new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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