i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
