Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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