Sry I called you an 8
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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