just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
