...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
