Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
