You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You ruined the universe
Randomize
