what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
