Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
