I cockslap morals
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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