I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
