he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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