What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have demons in me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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