One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
