Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"