"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.