I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies