Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling