i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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