U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
