i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
