Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
