Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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