Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
