He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
