I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize
