I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
