I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
