What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
