Dual....:-)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize