that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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