Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize