don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
