Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
