at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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