it was like eating out sand paper
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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