I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
