How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's the barista slut.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
