His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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