my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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