Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
