I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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