My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
