the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
