It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
