He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I puked a lego.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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