we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
