so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
