...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
