I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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