and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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