Can Purell be used as lube?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
