is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
