Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
